Birthday..

Tomorrow is my 28th birthday, and Liam will be 19 month old as well. I got my present today from Seth. It's a beautiful bracelet inscribed with "A mother's love is the first gift we know, one we never outgrow." Simple, perfect.
Big plans for my birthday? Going to visit my mom for the day, then coming home for a Southwest Chicken Flatbread pizza thing for dinner, and sharing a 'made for 2' cake with the guys.

Everything here is going ok. We picked a name for the newest little guy. Haven Theodore. We love it, my mother hates it, lol. Oooof course she would. I have my next OB appointment on the 13th, and I'm going to ask him to call the local OB directly to try to get me back into that practice. I can't do the long drive to Syracuse. If Seth goes with me to these appointments, and he'll need to for most, he'll have no vacation time left to take when the baby is born! Unacceptable. If they won't, I'm not really sure what I'll do. :-/ Had I known what a mess this would be, I'd have told the original OB that I had no car or way to the far away offices.

Anyway, not much else to update. Things are good.

Melaleuca

Melaleuca oil is simply tea tree oil. And a fantastic company and supplier of products (350 of them) which were made 'green' before it was the cool thing to do. Not only are the products great, they are also, as I'm discovering, less expensive than the store prices for similar, but inferior, products.

My favorite product right now is Sol-U-Mel, which is a suspension of alcohol, tea tree oil of the highest quality and concentration, and green soap. Green soap is a vegetable oil based soap that is gentle, and perfect for people with skin conditions, while being effective. Sol-U-Mel is a cleaner, but it's so much more. So far, we've used it as a cleaner, air freshener, addition to bath water for diaper rash, and a added boost to sanitize laundry. It's concentrated, and one 8oz bottle will easily last us 2 or more months- for under $10.

We're also using Melaleuca Herbal Shampoo, tooth polish, and acne treatment. Next month, we'll be trying various vitamins, body products, cleaners, mouth wash, dish detergent, tea, make up, salon quality hair care and skin care and so on. The plan is to replace every product in our home that we can with a Melaleuca alternative.

So, how did we discover these products? My mom used to sell and use the line, so I was familiar with them. But, a new friend is a marketing executive and I approached her about becoming a customer. For a single $29 enrollment fee, I was in. At first, I found the minimum purchase a little steep. It's about $50-60/month. But, as we began our first order, we realized we'll actually be saving more than that every month by getting our products from here. Best part? NO shopping! I place an order, and it comes to the door.

The best part? My involvement is up to me. I can just happily buy products and save a ton of money. If I want, I can turn this into a job, a real path, promoting this company and these products. I'm not in a pyramid scheme. I'm not a typical salesperson. I USE these products. I love these products. And even if I never make a dime, I'll still buy these products, every single month.

So, if you'd like to try a product before committing, have questions, or would like to start your path to a healthier home and possibly a great career opportunity (I'm talking to youuuu stay at home mamas!), send me an email! I've got the hookup, lol.

Quickie

Just a quick update. School is kicking my butt this term! I can guarantee I'll fail one course for usre. Sighhh. Liam is great, and we're starting potty training.

And oh, right... we're HAVING ANOTHER BOY!!!!

:-D

Missing..

A friend of mine from high school has gone missing, allegedly of his own accord, and leaving a wife and children missing him terribly and his family worried sick. Please pass this along if you're in the area.

So, we're 16 weeks along. And, my have I popped. I can't see my toes! I feel good. Not great, but good.

They're sending me back to Rochester for all my OB care, and delivery. For anyone not familiar with Western NY- that's a TWO HOUR drive- each way. And I'm due in December. Anyone else see an issue with me in labor trying to make it the two hour drive up there? The plan: When I go into labor, we're driving to my mother's to get Liam settled in with her (45 minutes), then going to the nearest hospital with a maternity ward. If they say I'm not that far into labor, we'll continue on to Rochester. If I'm ready to go, guess I'm having my baby there. If the weather is bad, the farthest we're going is our local hospital.

The exception to this: I have placenta previa. The placenta is completely covering my cervix. It might go away, it might not. If not, I have to deliver via-scheduled C-Section. Logistically, that would be the ideal scenario. Motherly, not an effin chance if I can avoid it. We're made to deliver vaginally, and only in the most extreme of cases should C-Sections be done.

They'll be putting me on medication for the diabetes. My only high numbers is my fasting, which is the overnight number.

Other than that, we're good. I'm so tired! The nausea is kicking my butt. I've lost about 7lbs. But we're great. Liam is growing like a weed. Seth seems to have hit his stride with work. We're still broke, but such is life. I don't know anyone who has kids and isn't strapped, not personally anyway. We'll get through. :-)

Thoughts

I had a thought while watching Liam try to open a water bottle with a toy.

We all come into this world as naked apes. Wanting only to sleep and nurse on our mothers. As we grow, we follow a path very similar to evolution. Egg yolk. Tadpole. Baby breathing water. Birth. Breathing air. As we grow, we learn to sit up on our own. Then crawl on all fours. Then take wobbly steps. Before you know it, we're running, learning that fire is hot but useful. We develop speech- often in the form of our own distinct language before we learn to speak the words of our parents. We learn to use tools, think critically, use common sense. We grow, and evolve, and learn.

We are not born with the immediate ability to love, hate, judge, accept, and so on. We're born completely innocent. Hatred is a learned emotion and behavior. Intolerance is a learned behavior. As a toddler, or even infant, we only know that the people who rock us to sleep, change our diapers, feed us, soothe us, and play with us are the most important person in our world. We don't recognize their age, gender, biological contribution to our genetic makeup, and so on. We don't care if it's our mother and father, daddy and second daddy, grandma and grandpa, adoptive parents, biological parents, what have you. It doesn't matter. Our love, at that point, is unconditional and knows no bounds.

We first, above all else, learn to love.

So, why is hate taught to our children? More importantly, WHO is teaching hatred and intolerance to our children? What happened to these people who vomit hatred for others based on sexual orientation, race, religious affiliation, and so on? At what point did their love of every single thing in the world turn to such a cold vicious hatred? More importantly, to me anyway, why, as a society, do we allow this behavior to continue?

I want my son to be raised knowing that we are all cut from the same cloth. Race, gender, sexual orientation, and so on, do not matter. What matters is the quality of a person and the positive impact they make on the people, and world, around them. I will not teach my son to hate, or to judge, and I will not allow that type of behavior or mindset to be a part of who he is.

I want him to feel as we feel as his parents: That we love all people, as they are. The only exception to that is people who do harm to others with malicious intent, or who live their lives full of hatred. Hateful and hurtful people deserve our pity, not our love. My son will be raised to stand up for those who cannot. Children, animals, the bullied, the oppressed. He will be taught to stand up for the equality of the human race. Because when it comes down to it, we are not defined by the color of our skin, or the people we love. We should be defined by WHO we are.... and my friends, who you are is under the surface.

Yet Another Horrific OB-GYN experience

I was referred by my OB-GYN to a physician an hour away from where we live for an ultrasound. Seth, my sister in law, son and I drove there this morning for the appointment. When the doctor came into the office, he greeted us and then started asking general questions about my health and so on.
He began to ask about my recent diabetes diagnosis. I explained that I was controlling my glucose levels with diet. When I mentioned my fasting numbers, which are admittedly higher than should be, he told me I needed to be on medication. I refused, and explained a condition I have that causes that, and that I was pretty sure what was happening. He snapped "No. It's not (name of the condition). I'll call your doctor and tell them to prescribe you (whatever the drug's name is)." Even though I had refused the drug. He then went on to berate me for not wanting to take a medication that I know causes severe nausea and vomiting for me from past experience. I finally 'agreed' to take the medication just so he would stop scaring me.

Then he asked me if I smoked. I said yes, that I had cut down to 1/3 of the amount prior to getting pregnant and was planning to quit completely. He said, ver batim "Yeah ok. If you smoke, you're going to miscarry and your baby is going to die, or you're going to give birth to a stillborn baby. You'll get lung cancer and die. Your children are going to grow up to be smokers, get lung cancer and die. How much did your first child weigh?" When I answered him, he said I was "lucky" my first son wasn't dead or born too small. I was tearing up and all choked up by that point.

I finally asked him just what the purpose of the visit was since I was scheduled for just an ultrasound. We were finally escorted into the ultrasound room. My son threw a huge tantrum, so my husband and sister in law took him for a walk. I was crying because of what the doctor said. When the doctor came in, he snapped "What is your problem?" at me really loudly. I told him nothing. While he was prepping for the ultrasound, still crying I said "I really am trying to quit smoking." And he responded "You won't quit."

During the ultrasound, he tried to get me to have testing done to check for down syndrome and other birth defects. I had already refused the testing with my regular OB-GYN and told him so. He kept repeating over and over that I NEEDED to do the test because I was not caring about my baby if I didn't do it. I tried to explain that if my child had a birth defect, it wouldn't change anything and I'd love the child just the same. He kind of sneered at me and said I HAD to get the testing done. He kept badgering me until I told him that IF I decided I wanted it, I would refer to my regular OB-GYN.


At a minimum, I've contacted an attorney and will be contacting the state medical board tomorrow. Everything he did is listed under professional misconduct. I just want him to be made aware, from the department that can strip his license, that he cannot intimidate, berate, humiliate, and scare patients.

So tomorrow I'll be letting my regular OB know that they can either refer me somewhere local for my ultrasounds and the like, or I'm finding a new provider.